A Self-Defense Christmas Carol

, , ,

Christmas is almost upon us, and what can be more cheery and bright than a rousing, empowering self-defense Christmas carol?

Wanna hear it?  Play now.

Feel free to share, and please give credit where it is due.  Written, performed, and recorded by Kinny at Strategic Living, LLC.

Now is also a good time to plan for the coming year — the first of this winter’s six-week courses will begin Tuesday, January 7, at Phinney Neighborhood Center.  There’s room for about 4 more students.  Find out more at Strategic Living’s Self-Defense 101 page.  Today.

/by

Feeling Lucky? Part I

, , , , , ,

“I was lucky!”

I hear this a lot, both in the media and from students. A woman or girl defends herself successfully, fights off an attacker, but then minimizes her good work by crediting chance.

You probably already know the story of one of the most crucial breakthroughs of modern medicine. Dr. Alexander Fleming inadvertently left a petri dish uncovered over a weekend. When he returned, he saw that mold had infested the dish. But before he threw away the spoiled experiment, he took a closer look and saw the mold was killing the bacteria. And thus the path to penicillin, and other antibiotics, was born.

Radioactivity was brought to light when physicist Henri Becquerel stored a chunk of uranium in a drawer besides an unexposed photographic plate. When he took them out a week later he noticed that the rock had left an imprint on the plate in the absence of light. Working with his students Marie and Pierre Curie, they discovered radiation.

And popsicles were invented in 1905, when eleven-year-old Frank Epperson left his soda-making gear outside, in the cold, overnight. The next day, the water and flavored powder mixture had frozen — along with the stick he’d used to stir the mixture. (Twenty years later, the adult Epperson applied for a popsicle patent.)

In all these instances, it took an observant person to see what most of us would call a “mistake,” and find the opportunity.

“Luck favors the prepared mind,” said by Dr. Louis Pasteur.  All three were lucky, and they were prepared.

Your safety will depend, in large part, on your ability to recognize opportunities to fight back, to see an attacker’s vulnerabilities, and to exploit weaknesses. Luck in self-defense does indeed favor the prepared mind, despite so-called “mistakes.”

/by

LIghtning Strikes Twice — In the News Again

, , , , , ,

After Deborah Horne from KIRO TV interviewed me about what women can do to stay safer, my evening class got a visit from Alison Grande and another cameraman from KIRO. They spent about an hour filming and briefly interviewing a couple of the students, and used probably about 20 seconds in this segment:

 

I have to say I’m glad that the media is also presenting what women can do for safety, not just recommending we stay home, quivering, until the police catch the creep(s).

/by

Self-Defense Makes Local News

, , ,

Several highly-publicized incidents of stranger attacks on women, and self-defense comes to the media mind.  Four women have been assaulted in Seattle’s north end, generally considered fairly residential and safe. KIRO TV News came out to talk with me, and here’s their evening story for Tuesday February 12:

If the above video doesn’t play on your browser, visit the KIRO site for viewing.

Later that evening they came to take some video of a class I was teaching. While we were not the “feature,” they did show some really good work by our students.  I’ll post that one when I find the video online.

Visit my website for more info on taking a self-defense class.

/by

Fun with Fakes

, , , , , ,

Jay Leno’s The Tonight Show has an occasional segment called “Fun with Fake Surveys.”  Some of the show’s writers go to a local mall and pretend to “survey” shoppers. They would collect a few bits of info from those who responded (the “target”) in return for a gift card. Info like your name (first and last), college you attended, home town, marital status, hobbies, etc. Then another actor would use that info to pretend to be someone the target had known from college, or met at the beach, or who works out at the same location. The fake friend would begin a conversation, and it would lead to a compromising situation when other actors playing bosses, new husbands, or creepy road rage stalkers joined in.  They wanted to see how far the target would take the charade for their “friend.”

To see what actually happens, you’ll have to see the show. Fortunately The Tonight Show is available online, free, at NBC’s website. I’ll even make it easier for you, here’s the link to the show that prompted this blog post.

On another but related note, hardly a week goes by without a Facebook Friend request to add my date of birth to a FB app.  Your birthday is one of a handful of pieces of information that can unlock a whole host of other information that can let another person pretend to be you. That’s identity theft, and it is bad. In my life, the only people who need to know my date of birth are family, moderate to close friends, the IRS, my employer (for the IRS), my bank (also for the IRS). And anyone doing a criminal background check (I always pass, thank you for asking). I decline the FB app requests.  I recommend that when you sign up for services such as FB that really do not need your birthday but insist you put down some date or you don’t get to use the service, do not provide your real birthday.

I recommend you carefully consider what information about yourself you make available, to anyone who may be asking. Even if it seems innocuous. Information trafficking is a big black market business.

I wonder how many people the Tonight Show actors approached to get the three featured targets on this episode. How many said no, or gave only partial info (like refused to give their last names). I wonder if any gave fake info, so would know immediately that the person approaching, pretending to know them, were bogus?  Anyone up to calling The Tonight Show‘s producers to ask?

/by

Lessons from the Cat #5: Talking about Powerful Women

, , , , , ,
Lilith

Lilith, my cat companion of almost 19 years, moved onto her next life last month. Her mission was to explore strange new tablecloths, to seek out new crevices and closets, to boldly go where no cat had gone before. Mission accomplished!

Since she came to live with me at the age of 5 weeks, Lilith was a fearless and headstrong explorer. No cupboard was off limits, as far as she was concerned. Nor was she was aloof, far from it! She was fearless as well as demanding in getting lap time and pettings. For a while I had to pet her tummy for at least 15 minutes before I would be “permitted” to do my morning yoga. Even then, she felt entitled to play with my hair whenever I was in “downward dog.” My clever cat of steel was featured in this blog post about a year and a half ago, and in this one a year ago. Lilith is sorely missed.

Last month I began a few revisions to my website’s home page. The goal is to make it more informative and easier to navigate. I was working on my sub-heading, playing around with words for women finding their super powers of protection. I used the phrase “super shero.” Sent the draft around to a couple of friends. One in particular disliked the phrase. She felt it too contrived and off-putting. So we were brainstorming alternatives. My friend came to this conclusion:

It’s a crying shame there’s such a paucity of terms for positive images of female power. Would be nice to have lots of choices from which to select the one with the perfect nuance.
If only the whole world knew who Lilith was. If a woman learned to project such presence, it would never occur to anyone to even think of messing with her. The only figure I can come up with who’s maybe even a distant second is Elizabeth II, Queen of England.

I have to agree, there are few truly positive adjectives for powerful women. Especially in a public venue.

Lilith watching . . .

Most of us don’t consider women when we think of powerful, intriguing, or even interesting people. Last week I taught a self-defense class for teen girls at a local high school. They paired up for an exercise, but first I asked them to introduce themselves to their partner and think of who they’d want to have dinner with tonight if they could pick ANY historic figure. Only two (of 12) picked women.

How do you talk about powerful women, or do you even positively talk about powerful women? Might you want to change that?

/by

More than Champaign: POP! for the New Year

, , , , , ,

Attention Parents of Tweens and Teens: wishing all of you a wonderful holiday season with your children. During this school recess, between visiting and feasting and caroling and skiing, make some time to have one or more meaningful conversations about sexual consent (and sexual assault) with your children.  Make it your New Year’s Resolution to keep on engaging in conversation. 

Perhaps you remember “the talk” from your own youth, and you’re cringing. For some help, take a look at  P.O.P!, a project of King County Sexual Assault Resource Center, and their 100 Conversations programs.

P.O.P! (Power of Prevention) is a group of young people who reach out to other young people in their communities by incorporating social media, video, written material, and face-to-face conversations. Their goal is to create healthier communities and end sexual assault by dispelling myths, encouraging positive attitudes and behaviors, and increasing access to resources like KCSARC.

I particularly like two features of their conversation lists. First is the emphasis on understanding what boundaries are, how to find yours, and how to communicate them to others. Second is the social nature of behavior, how others affect what you do, and activating bystanders to do something other than stand by helplessly. BTW, these are two essential topics I cover in my self-defense classes.

As with any other meaningful topic, safety and consent and sex cannot be a one-time conversation with those you care about. Check out the list of 100 topics on the P.O.P! site to help you keep it going, and not fall by the wayside as do most New Year’s Resolution.

/by

Radio, Radio

, , ,

I was on the air for about 12 minutes. Carol Carini interviewed me on KKNW 1150 AM the morning of Friday, August 17th, 2012.  This was probably the hottest week of the summer, and the week I was directing a kids’ karate camp. Arrived at the dojo (karate school) especially early to wait for the phone to ring . . . and it rings, and it’s a sales call.  But wait, the very instant I hang up my cellphone rings and it’s Carol!

We talk about if self-defense can be for any woman, what keeps some women from fighting back, what can seniors and children do, etc. Then Carol tells this cool success story, when she had to fight back. Very nice to be talking with a radio host who’s not asking, “but shouldn’t women not walk outside by themselves?”

Please listen at http://www.StrategicLiving.org/joanne-live-life-radio-show.mp3

/by

Paper Rock Guns

, , ,

Many inhabitants of the Emerald City (that’s Seattle) are dismayed by the recent spate of shootings. We can point out that the our fair city’s rate of gun violence is in fact low in comparison to other comparably-sized American cities. Reassuring to some, perhaps not so much for those who lost friends and family.

And out trots that perennial argument. Do guns kill, or do people? If Seattle had tighter regulations on gun sales and ownership, could some of these murders have been avoided? Or should more people be allowed to carry guns in more places, to stop the evil-doers in their tracks?

I am no expert on firearm legislation. I do, however, worry about the eagerness of some to bear arms. A couple of years ago, when the media spotlight was on the University District and the emailed Alerts about all reported crimes around campus, some UW students reportedly began carrying guns and organized armed patrols of the community. If their members are much like the spokesperson interviewed on KUOW, I would be more afraid of them than of most muggers. To my ears, this guy came across as just spoiling for an excuse to blaze away.

I do know some people who own guns. They have a healthy respect for firepower, practice regularly, and are very concerned with gun safety. They are not the gun owners I fear.

My concern is that some are so keen to jump to the most lethal form of self-defense, rather than looking first at other prevention measures. There are reports that states with a “Stand Your Ground” law are seeing a increase in killings. Rather than resulting in a decrease in crime, these laws may be justifying needless homicide.

As a self-defense teacher, I am occasionally asked about carrying firearms. (Most often, however, the weapon I’m asked about is pepper spray.) What I in turn ask those students is: are you willing to kill someone? Are you willing to go to the firing range and practice on a regular basis? Do you understand that there’s an emotional cost to taking life? Do you have the names of a good lawyer and a good therapist? If you are not willing to think long and hard about these questions, you should not be considering carrying a gun.

/by

A Tail of Two Kitties: Lessons from the Cat #4

, , ,

Lilith and Pookie were my first two cats. They were littermates. They came to live with me when they were only five weeks old. Alas, Pookie passed onto her next life over a decade ago (inoperable tumor), but Lilith will turn 18 years old next month (and she doesn’t look a day over 13).

They were close even as they grew out of kittenhood into adolesence and adulthood into middle age. Whatever her age, though, Pookie never outgrew her love of chasing tail. Mostly it was her own tail (her preferred perch was my bicycle seat. which still bears her clawmarks), but sometimes Lilith’s was the target. Pookie would be mezmerized by the sight of Lilith’s tail swinging over the edge of the couch and begin her stalking routine. She would crouch and wiggle her rear end ever so slightly. Then she would pounce. But the tail would be gone.

Lilith the Clever

Lilith the clever had deliberately positioned herself on the couch edge. Then she would slowly swish her tail in clear sight of Pookie, drawing her attention. Lilith would pretend not to notice Pookie, but her timing gave her away. As Pookie pounced, Lilith snapped her tail up and out of reach. Without fail.

Lilith and Pookie were two cats at play. The ramifications of Pookie being lured into chasing Lilith’s tail were, well, non-existent. But for us people, it is a very different tail, er, tale.

People who mean you harm will often use desirable lures to distract you from their real intent. Some can be quite clever at discerning an unfulfilled need, and holding out an offer. The idea is to physically isolate you after they’ve gained a small measure of your trust. When you are alone with the perp, they will make their move quickly, and you will be surprised and in denial. In many instances the assault will be over before you realize you’ve been assaulted. In fact, you may never even name your experience as assault.

The lesson of this tale is something you’ve heard again and again. If it’s too good to be true, if it’s too perfect, listen to your gut’s reservations. Because, unlike Pookie and Lilith’s tail, your consequences may last longer than 5 seconds.

/by