When Fighting Back Worked: Self-Defense Success Stories

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Once again, ripped from the headlines (actually, more often inside pages) from the web.  These are all stories of women and girls successfully using safety skills.

This first one is from West Seattle, where a high school girl fights back against a dude who grabs her.  She breaks free, runs to safety, and calls 911.  Way to go!  From King 5 News: http://www.king5.com/news/cities/seattle/Teenage-girl-grabbed-by-man-near-West-Seattle-High-School-235301801.html

How about this one, from our neighbor to the south (that’s Portland, OR).  A guy demands a Portland State University student’s backpack and punches her.  She turns and punches him back, and he goes running!  From KXL FM News Radio:  http://kxl.com/2013/12/12/female-student-hit-in-the-face-fights-off-attacker/

Now from South Carolina, where this guy picked the wrong target.  What he did not know was she’s trained in martial arts.  Whoopsie!  She fights back, and again he goes running (do you see the pattern here?).  http://www.opposingviews.com/i/society/animal-rights/man-attacks-woman-walking-small-dog-myrtle-beach-she-has-black-belt-fight  (Pssssst — you don’t need a black belt to fight back like she did — you can learn the same techniques in Week 3 of Strategic Living’s 6 week self-defense course.)

Let’s jump across the Atlantic for this story out of the United Kingdom.  Woman kicks guy in crotch, and he runs away.  http://www.newmarketjournal.co.uk/news/latest-news/woman-38-fights-off-mobile-phone-thief-1-5757252.  Almost surprised he was able to still run.

And, finally, we return to the greater Seattle area.  Woman fights off attacker on a popular trail in the middle of the afternoon.  She was attacked from behind, and she escaped by fighting back.  http://q13fox.com/2013/12/19/woman-reports-assault-on-north-creek-regional-trail-in-bothell/#axzz2o2Fx8aC6.

Did you see a story in the news, or want to share one of your own?  Contact me!

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Spotlight on Self-Defense Weapons: The Hand Grenade

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No, I am NOT advocating to my self-defense students that we consider this a viable self-defense weapon.

But self-defense does take on a different timbre in other locations.  Such as Libya.

Souad Soltan, a congresswoman in Libya, carried a hand grenade for self-defense.  It was found via metal detector as she entered Tripoli’s City Hall for a meeting.  It was confiscated.  On her way out she asked for it back, claiming she needed it for self-defense.  Her request was denied.  I don’t know if she’s since replaced it with another, or with some other weapon.

Check out this article on why she’s carrying that grenade.

There are several pros and cons for her choice.  First, she’s only got one chance to use it.  It’s blast is indiscriminate, so she or bystanders could also be injured.  And it will only go as far as she can throw it.  On the positive side, it seemed to fit well in her handbag, and it could take out a number of attackers at once (which probably was why this is her weapon of choice).

Your self-defense will look different in different places.  Since the fall of long-time ruler Col. Quaddafi two years ago, civil protection has weakened.  More people have access to weapons, and some are using those for harm.  Anyone involved in politics is someone else’s target.  Your precautions under those circumstances not be as carefree as most of us in Seattle (where it is common to cross a street while staring down at your phone).

And carrying a concealed grenade is probably illegal in Washington State.  So don’t do it — there are better options for you.

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New Use for Old Taser

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Do you own a taser?  Have you never used it, are considering not carrying it around any more, and are now wondering what to do with it?

Zap your veggies.

Today I heard on The Splendid Table that a scientist in Japan found that “stunned” potatoes are healthier for you.  Apparently shocked potatoes produce more antioxidants.

You can hear it here too, it is the first 50 seconds of the program.

The scientists, however, used a low charge for up to half and hour.  Not exactly what your stun gun was meant to do.  You can read an article about it in the Daily Mail.

DISCLAIMER:  I am NOT recommending you try this at home.  And, if you do so, I bear no responsibility. Take a self-defense class instead.

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Discombobulated State of the Kosmos: A DSK Report

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The Dominique Strauss-Kahn (or DSK) story has followed a partly unpredictable course. First of all, most sexual assaults are not reported, including those committed by members of the cultural elite. Second, most assailants are not caught if the assault is reported. Even if arrested, most assailants are not prosecuted. So I was initially impressed at the speed of this beginning of this story, where the hotel maid reported, the police found evidence, and an arrest worthy of a TV drama (as the plane that DSK was on was preparing to take off). Wow, I thought, are the planets and stars in some special alignment? Did the Universal Law of Karma supplant the Golden Rule (he who has the gold . . . rules)?

But more recently the Kosmos has returned to business as usual. Irregularities have been found in the past of the maid. She is a poor immigrant. Seems she lied on asylum papers. She knows people who are serving time in jail. She has multiple cell phones.

None of which have anything to do with the rape charges. All of which may derail the prosecution’s case.

As any number of women who have tried to prosecute rape have found out, stuff like that matters to a significant number of potential jurors. As a culture, we like our victims stainless. And if the victim comes across as less than a madonna (not to be confused with pop icon Madonna), if they come across as a real person with warts and fears and the possibility that 20 years ago they may have inhaled, they are not deserving of justice. (That’s why assailants will often seek out targets who they think cannot withstand a caustic public scrutiny.) Very few people will actually come out and say that, but actions such as votes in a jury do speak louder.

Currently, it’s estimated that between one in eight to one in five women will be targeted for sexual assault sometime in their life. If you are one, here are my recommendations should you choose to report and prosecute, regardless of whether or not you fought back, evaded rape, or complied with the assailant’s demands.

  • First, find a sexual assault advocate. One who is experienced and believes you. Preferably not on the police payroll, but from an independent group. In the Seattle area, good choices are the King County Sexual Assault Resource Center and Harborview Medical Center. University of Washington students can contact SARIS.
  • Second, get your own lawyer. Yes, rape is a crime against the state. And a good lawyer can help you navigate through the criminal justice maze.
  • Finally, get a REALLY good therapist. You’ll need one.

PS – I was thinking of writing on DSK’s peanut gallary (i.e., those public figures who insisted that a man of DSK’s standing would NEVER commit rape). Jon Stewart, however, did such a good job, and as I always say if you can’t beat it, link to it.

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The Chilled Butter Maneuver: Self Defense Lesson #2 from the Cat

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Lilith is one cool cat. And she’s not afraid of you.

Lilith, a 17 year old with spring and verve of a cat a quarter her age.

Indeed, Lilith will readily come over to any visitor and “allow” herself to be adored and petted. She is fine and mellow when she recognizes that appropriate due is being paid to her by adoring fans.  She is the Queen of the house, and she knows it.

But don’t let her outward appearance deceive you — Lilith has a core of razor steel. What she wants, she gets (like cheese, milk, and chocolate ice cream). And what she doesn’t want, well . . .

At the risk of understatement, cats do not like taking their medicines. Pilling a cat, rare as it is in my household, is still onerous. Each cat has its own means of resistance, and Lilith’s is among the most effective.

Most cats struggle from the moment they realize you’re holding the dreaded pill and looking at them. But not my Lilith. She purrs. She headbutts and rubs her cheeks against my hands as I maneuver her in place between my knees. She purrs some more, and as I shift my attention ever so slightly to get the pill in my hand ready to launch, she springs. Her move is not at all explosive or drastic, it’s  more like she’s the proverbial greased pig. One moment she’s “securely” nestled in my grasp, and the next she’s disappearing under the couch.


Her key is relaxation and timing.

Lilith, secure in her knowledge that she’ll triumph, lulls us into believing we’ve got her. Relaxation also gives her speed and slickness when she makes her move. But her suppleness alone isn’t quite enough — Lilith can recognize when our attention is just a bit distracted, and she picks that moment for a successful escape.

Sometimes in a threatening situation, your best recourse is feigning compliance. You go along with the assailant’s demands, watching for your opening. Waiting for that momentary distraction (or the chance to create one). And, should that window open, you will be ready to spring into action.

(For practice in what “springing” actions would work best, take a self-defense class. Two 5-week courses are beginning soon: one in Bellevue this coming Saturday July 9, another in Seattle on Monday July 11.)

Sometimes that window will not open. You have to realize that in self-defense sometimes your choice is between bad and worse. That’s the reality. After-care is crucial (and that’s a topic for another blog post).

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Running. Safety. Again.

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One of my students asked about a situation she’d recently faced while running on a local trail. A guy on a bike seemed to be pacing her, trying to chat with her. The really chilling question she remembered was him asking where her car was parked.  ???? Why was he interested, she thought, can’t be good. She told him a parking lot a bit further up, where there would be more people (and where her car was NOT parked). He rode off. As she ran past the lot she could see him there, waiting. She left him waiting and went on (apparently he didn’t see her go by, or he didn’t follow).

The class brainstormed other options, just in case.  One woman suggested that she tell every other runner and jogger she meets something like “hey, did you see that guy on the bicycle? The one asking women where they’ve parked their car, and then waits for them. Really creepy! Spread the word.” Soon you can get a buzz going, and people will actively be on the lookout for the guy. This is a GREAT suggestion, as it gets people more aware as well as looking out for each other.

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Creepy and Kooky, Revisited

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Two weeks ago I blogged about a Manitoba judge’s sentencing for a rapist:

https://www.strategicliving.org/its-creepy-and-its-kooky-but-neither-mysterious-nor-spooky

Today I found this spot-on blog post that begins with the very same judge (blog written by Krista Ball):


http://kristadball.com/blog/archives/553

The bigger picture, aside from a single judge’s sentencing, is the depiction of rape.  It’s not about sex, it’s not about a “misunderstanding,” it’s about power and control.

It’s about teaching consent, so sorely missing because of embarrassment and/or shame around sex. Open discussion around these difficult topics would remove some of the stigma, and perhaps even result in a few more young women recognizing how to set their own boundaries and NOT GET RAPED.

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Violent Girls: A Dubious Equality?

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Last weekend I attended the Association of Women Martial Arts Instructors‘ annual conference. Great presentations on a variety of topics, including one relevant to this blog.  Silke Schultz presented Understanding the Roots of Aggression, about social conditions that lead some people to violence and possible ways to mitigate the effects of these negative conditions.

In passing, Schultz noted that in recent years the rate of girls arrested for violent behavior has increased.  This is probably not a surprise to you — I’ve been hearing about it for over a decade now.  Actually, what I’ve been hearing from the media (and repeated by my students) is that girls are becoming increasingly and brutally violent, at astoundingly rapid rates.  About 5-10 years ago this issue was a media darling, with esteemed venues such as Newsweek declaring it a “burgeoning national crisis” (of course until the next burgeoning, or imminent, or catastrophic, crisis steals the headlines).

I am a big fan of gender equality, but media claims that girls are becoming just as violent as boys is not exactly the expression of equality I’d like to be seeing (if we’d like to exploit a different stereotype, I’d rather see that boys are becoming just as relationship-oriented as girls).

Because we live in the Information Age, with just a few clicks of the trackpad I found a paper from the US Department of Justice (DoJ) called Understanding and Responding to Girls’ Delinquency.  This article was useful in elucidating issues around girls and violence.

First, as I’ve been saying in my self defense classes for a LONG time, the rate of violence in the United States is DECREASING.  Looking at the DoJ article’s conclusions, the authors found that:

Available evidence based on arrest, victimization, and self-report data suggests that although girls are currently arrested more for simple assaults than previously, the actual incidence of their being seriously violent has not changed much over the last two decades. This suggests that increases in arrests may be attributable more to changes in enforcement policies than to changes in girls’ behavior. Juvenile female involvement in violence has not increased relative to juvenile male violence.

This article also mentioned that assault rates are overall decreasing, and the rate of decrease was more rapid for boys than for girls in some categories.

But what makes a “better” news story — that girls are increasingly arrested for violence, or that girls are becoming more violent?  Apparently, the latter.

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From Home Alarm Monitoring’s Blog

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Got an email from one of my blog’s readers a few day ago. His company, Home Alarm Monitoring, has its own blog about safety.  He thought that readers of Safety in Seattle would also be interested in this post:

http://www.homealarmmonitoring.org/year/10-types-of-self-defense-anyone-can-learn/

Written by a woman who was mugged right outside her home, she gives ten tips that she feels would have helped her at that time.  I like her emphasis on easy ways to fight back, and in my self defense classes have students drill these, and more.

Thanks, Allen, for sharing!

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Fight Back = AWEsome!

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Three days ago I was contacted by Kassi Rodgers, an editor for the Seattle University Spectator (their newspaper) about safety and self-defense in and around campus (as well as the greater Capitol Hill area). Her article came out yesterday.

And I was not the only one to notice that when women fight back against their assailants, they tend to succeed.

You can read the entire article here.

Did I mention that when women fight back, they tend to win? In this article, I also mentioned that more women are reactive than proactive. Yet waiting until something evil is on your doorstep is not the best time to learn to defend yourself.

You too can learn some pretty simple yet amazingly effective self-defense techniques. What are you waiting for?

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