Attention all women looking for a self defense class

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Maybe you saw a demo at a health fair or shopping mall about women’s self-defense,  and you’re considering taking a class.  The group putting on the demo seemed friendly and knowledgeable, and now you’re wondering if their program would be a good fit for your needs.  Here’s two important keys to watch for.

In many self-defense demos, you see a male instructor as “attacker” and a female instructor as “defender.”  So far, so good.  Now, who does the talking?  Is it a male instructor, or female?  Yes, this IS important!  If you are teaching women to strongly face a real-life assailant, she should be the one talking to the women in the audience.

Second, watch carefully for either (or both) of these two things to happen:  the female defender does her moves but in a tentative manner and a male instructor describes her as being “nice” to her attacker,” and over the next 10 minutes the demo actors get shifted so a male instructor has taken over showing the moves.

Is this empowering for women?  (Hint: the answer is no.)

I’ve seen this scenario happen several times now.  I have no doubt that these are very nice and well-meaning people, and their techniques can be effective.  However, until the women show a real lead in their demos I have a hard time believing that the women they are trying to recruit as students will get two of the most essential self-defense lessons.  Which are, of course, to take charge and use your voice.

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License to Live

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Self-defense teacher and author Ellen Snortland wrote a really to-the-point article in the Huffington Post last week, which you can read in it’s entirety at http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ellen-snortland/license-to-live-time-to-m_b_253316.html.

Ellen convincingly argues that teen girls should be required to take a self-defense class as part of drivers’ education. I need no convincing. After all, self-defense are critical life skills for the most at-risk group of women in America.

And in case you won’t be clicking on the above link, below are Ellen’s most basic rules for personal safety:

  • Give up property. If an assailant wants money or the car, give it to them. They might go away.
  • Do not give up your body. Do not go with anyone to a secondary crime scene. Better to resist or run from the primary encounter. Resistance from the intended victim is apt to result in the perpetrator giving up, witnesses reporting/helping, or in the worst case, at least leaving forensic evidence for clues.
  • Work out a “code” word so your family knows you’re in trouble. Agree that if and when you call and say something agreed upon like, “Is that Lassie barking?” it actually means, “Help me.”
  • If you’ve been taken, look to escape every chance you can. Don’t give up. Injuries from jumping out of a car can be less hazardous than getting further along with an increasingly desperate criminal.
  • Do not believe a person who says “Be quiet go with me and I won’t hurt you.” They have already hurt you by committing the crime of kidnapping. Be loud and don’t go with them.
  • Insist that schools provide a state required self-defense component.

I’ve heard parents ask me why self-defense classes are not routinely offered in the public school system, and I have no good answer for them. Perhaps that is the next level of self-defense, making sure others in your community have much-needed tools to keep themselves safe.

For more information, visit Self-Defense for Teen Girls Only.

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