This afternoon I taught a class for tween girls (and a mom or two), and afterwards one mom and I were talking about this “blaming the victim” of rape nonsense.  She mentioned that one of her friends, many years ago, was raped right after her high school graduation.  The girls was at home in bed, and a robber with a gun broke into the house. He raped her.  The police later asked her what she was wearing.

I remembered a speaker from the 2011 Seattle SlutWalk with the same story.  I asked if the women spoke at SlutWalk and the mom said yes.  Got the speaker’s name, found her on YouTube, and here she is, just as I remembered.

If you do not see a video here, or it is not playable on your device, you can view it directly on YouTube.

And the most important takeaway is that she was raped because a rapist made a choice to commit rape. True then, true now.  True always.

“You can’t miss the crowd, it’s MASSIVE!”

I overheard this man giving driving directions while marching in today’s Slutwalk Seattle. To get a sense of the crowd, take a look at this YouTube video (from SeattleRex):

If this doesn’t display correctly, you can watch on YouTube at http://youtu.be/u5_psd0YZHc.

TV news reports the past couple of days had been mentioning the upcoming Slutwalk, describing it as women protesting against rape by dressing provocatively. While I’m glad this rally was publicized, I have to scold the media for their description. Yes it’s a protest against rape, and a protest to end victim-blaming and slut-shaming. Participants were welcome to dress as they pleased. You can see from this video that some (women and men) wore their fishnet stockings and pasties, most wore the usual PNW attire, like jeans and North Face jackets.

I’ll post more later, but one final note for now. The rally was held at Westlake Center. Towards the end of the rally, some participants who had entered the shopping mall were asked to leave because of “indecent exposure.” The Center received a loud mass “f*** you!” from the crowd.

Much has been made about this movement’s chosen name. While the choice of Slutwalk has offended some, it’s also created a LOT of debate and discussion and controversy and buzz. That’s publicity.

Patrick Williams of YOU ROCK! Communications puts it this way:

About 15 years ago, Taco Bell got a lot of attention by claiming they had bought the Liberty Bell and renamed it the Taco Liberty Bell.

A few years later, Burger King advertised a left-handed hamburger that generated a lot of curiosity and interest.

Both of those ‘news’ items turned out to be promotional stunts and they both generated lots of publicity.

Any time you can do something outrageous, you have a chance to attract the kind of media coverage that money just can’t buy.

I think there’s been too much discussion on the name and less on the focus, but hey that seems to be what it takes to get attention and to spread the word to people who wouldn’t give “Rally ‘Round Against Rape” a second yawn.

And the focus of Slutwalk, from my reading, is that women are not asking to be raped, regardless of what they are wearing. Some criticize the movement as encouraging women to dress “like sluts,” and yes there will be some who advocate that look. Every mass movement is made up of lots of people with their own agendas and foci. You can go through all the blogs and Facebook pages and postings and find plenty of examples of “public sluttiness.” If that’s what you’re going to zoom in on, you’ve missed the point.

As a self-defense instructor, I don’t tell people how to dress. Besides my lack of fashion sense, I feel that can too readily be construed as victim-blaming. I do suggest how my students may be seen by others, and how some attire (or other aspects of appearance) can be used as a handy excuse for somebody else’s bad behavior. Or how it could attract someone looking for a target. And then recommend safety strategies they can use to compensate for possible increased risk.

Women do not ask to be raped. Ever. Period.

“You know, I think we’re beating around the bush here,” the officer said, according to one attendee. “I’ve been told I’m not supposed to say this, however, women should avoid dressing like sluts in order not to be victimized.”

That was the unfortunate comment, made by Toronto police constable Michael Sanguinetti on January 24th to a small group of students. Blogged and tweeted around the world, this comment spawned a global movement. Slutwalk was born.

Sanguinetti has since apologized, and is reported to have been disciplined and will receive additional training. Presumably he had received training before this event. The Toronto police asserts that their officers are taught that nothing a woman does contributes to sexual assault. Yet this slip of the tongue did happen. Despite the fact that the vast majority of women who were assaulted were not dressed like “sluts,” whatever that means (see yesterday’s blog post for what it really does mean). Despite the fact that dress does not cause sexual assault. And despite the fact that the person committing the rape needs to be accountable for his own actions. Period.

Despite all the good cops out there, it’s those thoughtless and arrogant ones who are featured in the nightly news. Still another reason why few women report rape to law enforcement. Why I’ll be at Slutwalk Seattle this coming Sunday. And why I still continue to teach self-defense classes.

First, let me make it clear what I mean by “slut.” Slut is a noun with excess baggage. Slut is used as a negative judgmental label applied by Person A onto Person B. Generally Person B is female, and Person A is often but certainly not always male. Person A disapproves of Person B’s general appearance, style of dress, or some other behavior. Person A then labels Person B as a “slut,” frequently to justify their own bad, if not abusive, behavior to Person B.

The label “slut” actually tells more about the mental framework (prejudices and stereotypes) of Person A, and little about the woman at whom this epithet is hurled.

Much has been made about Slutwalks reclaiming the word “slut.” I can’t say that I’ll be going to Seattle’s Slutwalk to “reclaim” anything. I do not care to reclaim, reframe, or rehabilitate the word “slut.” I want to quash this word as a weapon. I want to nullify its negative energy, neutralize its power, negate its impact on women.

And any weapon can be overcome. With a little preparation, we all can learn to minimize its impact. Because nobody deserves to be targeted for rape.

Perhaps I’m not paying attention, but here’s what I’m NOT hearing:

“Anthony Weiner is such a slut!”

“He’s just asking for it!”

“He looks like he wants to be raped.”

For those of you truly isolated from mass media, Anthony Weiner is the Congressman from New York who tweeted pictures of his crotch. To a whole lotta followers. By accident, he said. Bad judgment at best.

But who is getting called a slut? Why, the new “slutrepeneurs,” those women who are coming out of the woodwork to sell the text messages and photos and tweets. At least according to Susannah Breslin, blogging on Forbes.

So men who distribute risqué photos are entrepreneurs while women are slutrepeneurs?

And the moral of this story is that (once again) men have interesting, even endearing, character slubs, while women are, well, just sluts.

And that’s only one reason why I’m going on Slutwalk Seattle on June 19th. Hope to see you there.